I was checking a message on my phone today and somehow I ended up looking at little tiny pictures on my phone. I have some pictures of the retail store in Ogden, Utah, a tiny Presbyterian Church that I attended when I was there and Mom.
Mom getting her hair colored after her gallbladder surgery. She needed to have on her "Game Face" before we met George. Mom snuggled up in a warm blanket in the Chemo room in January. The ambulance drivers that brought her home from the hospital that Thursday. Mom's luminary from a couple of Saturdays ago.
I sat at my desk and cried yet again, surrounded by a wind up monkey, a magnet man and some little tiny Easter eggs from a few years ago. (Just know.. I know you guys got stuff.. but I got the BEST STUFF.)
It's almost 4 weeks (which is the magic number of weeks you are supposed to "grieve" according to all of the stupid books I have been reading), but I haven't gotten past the initial ouch.
I know it's okay, Mom's okay. God doesn't have to calm the sea, but if he could just calm the sailor for a while...
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Make sure you take this in the bed..
Sleep has been an issue for me lately. I wake up around 2:00 AM and have trouble going back to sleep. No matter how late I go to bed, how tired I am when I go to sleep, I seem to have the internal get up at 2:00 AM thing happening.
So, to make a long story short, I am now the proud owner of a bottle of sleeping pills. I asked for about 5 (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree), and got 30. My thought was that if my body could sleep the entire night a couple of nights, it would remember that it doesn't need to wake up at 2:00 AM. With the sleeping pills, came about 3 prescriptions for my back. (In true Mom fashion, I am telling Jason, I am not going to fill the pain pills, he looks at me and tells me he is going to write it anyway. I didn't ask if I could split a pill, so maybe there is hope for me after all.)
I did sleep better thanks to modern science. But the funniest thing to me is that he told me to take them when I was in the bed. He said if you take them downstairs, you are going to sleep downstairs. When Zach was little, we were at Mom's and he was running a fever or something. I gave him some Tylenol. I made him get in Mom's bed because I told him that "As soon as you take this, you are going to be very sleepy and will go right to sleep so we had better get in the bed now." Mom is rolling on the floor laughing at me. She would get a kick out of Jason's "instructions".
So, to make a long story short, I am now the proud owner of a bottle of sleeping pills. I asked for about 5 (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree), and got 30. My thought was that if my body could sleep the entire night a couple of nights, it would remember that it doesn't need to wake up at 2:00 AM. With the sleeping pills, came about 3 prescriptions for my back. (In true Mom fashion, I am telling Jason, I am not going to fill the pain pills, he looks at me and tells me he is going to write it anyway. I didn't ask if I could split a pill, so maybe there is hope for me after all.)
I did sleep better thanks to modern science. But the funniest thing to me is that he told me to take them when I was in the bed. He said if you take them downstairs, you are going to sleep downstairs. When Zach was little, we were at Mom's and he was running a fever or something. I gave him some Tylenol. I made him get in Mom's bed because I told him that "As soon as you take this, you are going to be very sleepy and will go right to sleep so we had better get in the bed now." Mom is rolling on the floor laughing at me. She would get a kick out of Jason's "instructions".
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Rubbermaid Poster Child
I think Mom is the reason they invented Rubbermaid. Wendy and I went to Mom's house yesterday to continue working on getting her condo ready to put on the market. Mom has a bunch of stuff.
Wanda came to pick up Mom's clothes. I stood in Mom's closet for a minute yesterday trying to see if anything jumped out at me and said Mom. [I save clothes. I have a picture of Zach when he was little with Dad and I saved the outfit. I thought/hoped there would be an outfit that I could see in my mind that would mark a time. No such luck.] Mom's house doesn't smell like her anymore. So Mom's clothes were just clothes and home they went with Wanda. In my heart, I know that Wanda will priss them out just like Mom and enjoy them. Poor Chicos.. They are probably going to go bankrupt now.
I have piles of stuff for several of you. Mom kept your letters/newspaper articles/pictures/playbills and menus from your trips together. I will try to stick this in the mail within the next month or so. There is still stuff at Wendy's that I need to look over before I have everything.
It wasn't as bad a day as I thought. Mom's bear came to live with me, along with the naked fairy that was at the front door. A ton of Tupperware and some pots and pans, and a couple of cabinets that were in Mom's living room. [Now I am the poster child for Rubbermaid.]
Kathy and Gail came by and brought my favorite cookies and some wonderful bagels. It was a great surprise to see them yesterday.
Uncle Richard and Aunt Shirley also came over and helped.
The why of the day yesterday was pretty crappy, but the day itself wasn't that bad.
Wanda came to pick up Mom's clothes. I stood in Mom's closet for a minute yesterday trying to see if anything jumped out at me and said Mom. [I save clothes. I have a picture of Zach when he was little with Dad and I saved the outfit. I thought/hoped there would be an outfit that I could see in my mind that would mark a time. No such luck.] Mom's house doesn't smell like her anymore. So Mom's clothes were just clothes and home they went with Wanda. In my heart, I know that Wanda will priss them out just like Mom and enjoy them. Poor Chicos.. They are probably going to go bankrupt now.
I have piles of stuff for several of you. Mom kept your letters/newspaper articles/pictures/playbills and menus from your trips together. I will try to stick this in the mail within the next month or so. There is still stuff at Wendy's that I need to look over before I have everything.
It wasn't as bad a day as I thought. Mom's bear came to live with me, along with the naked fairy that was at the front door. A ton of Tupperware and some pots and pans, and a couple of cabinets that were in Mom's living room. [Now I am the poster child for Rubbermaid.]
Kathy and Gail came by and brought my favorite cookies and some wonderful bagels. It was a great surprise to see them yesterday.
Uncle Richard and Aunt Shirley also came over and helped.
The why of the day yesterday was pretty crappy, but the day itself wasn't that bad.
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