Wear My Words

You have no idea of how much grief I gave Mom over the Chico's addiction. The fabric, the number of different combinations, the matching, the everything. Mom actually had a job at the one in High Point and everyone knew her by name.

I am out of town for a couple of days and needed some business clothes to actually go over my fat butt. [I am +30 lbs right now from when Mom was here. I wish I could say fat and happy, but today I am just fat.] Mom was the only reason I have ever lost weight when I have been stressed, but during the last month, I dropped about 15 lbs. I didn't realize it until I tried on a dress for the funeral. I just felt funny eating when Mom couldn't eat, and a couple of weeks catching throw up pretty much killed my appetite. My normal stress pattern is to eat anything that is moving slow.

Back to my butt... I ended up getting Chico's like stuff for this week at the Belks in town today. [The Belks in Fuquay is the smallest Belks on the planet, plus I know everyone here. Once I had to get a dress for a wedding and the entire Belks dressed me, customers and staff, from the shoes to the whatever. Again, I live in a very small town.] I just wanted something that would go over my butt and not be tight. Black pants, black skirt, black tank top and something brown that looks like a jacket and something blue with a matching shell. Kathy is helping me find stuff (She goes to church with me. ) In theory, I can fit all of this in my purse and have outfits for 4 years. Man do I hate to shop.

Can I get a "I told you so"? Who knows what is next? I may go buy some makeup from a real store.

And the flower would be an offering of love to the dessert

My biopsy came back today with clear margins. I wondered if I would get the results back before I left this weekend, so I broke down and called the Dr. Good news and a date for the same time next year.

I have a new soundtrack as you can tell from the last couple of posts. Crazy weekend. Too much stuff to do before I flight out Sunday for a few days. And today also brought a tricked out new phone. I need to have a little "Friday Fun" and do a couple of Windows Mobile apps.

I don't know if I have blogged about "Friday Fun" before. I take a hour or so every once and a while and write something fun (always on Friday). Between database conversions and normal stuff, I normally don't write any stuff that can be remotely called cool. Friday Fun things usually more flashy than my normal stuff and are usually proof of concept for some new type of technology or something that one of our users has talked about but it never moves to the front of the list. It may be a "I am too lazy to check something trigger" or a call to read one of the temperature sensors on one of the servers or whatever has been mulling around in the back of my thoughts for the past few days from something I have read.

I have names for other days, like "No Cursor Tuesday", where I make an active effort not to write a cursor. How twisted is that...

And in the sea there is a fish. A fish that has a secret wish.

A wish to be a big cactus. With a pink flower on it.

I have gone from a round of not dreaming to a round of busy dreams, which is very different for me. They remind me of the vivid dreams from using a patch when trying to stop smoking. When I wake up, I feel like I just closed my eyes, but with a internal feeling of "you were supposed to finish this before you woke up." I wake up tired and behind.

I have a follow up with the Dr next week. We are close to the magic 29 days. For some reason, I thought I would be happy by now. But I am not sure the opposite of sad is happy, but closer to not sad. Maybe this is part of the deal. Maybe if I had just stuck it out, I could have kicked myself over to happy without some chemical assistance. Maybe if I had more faith, I could have prayed myself over to happy. Maybe if I just had more fill in the blank, I would always be happy.

Maybe if I had less doubts, I would always be happy.

Prescriptions

I was cleaning out some of my older files at work and found this today. When we first started, it was hard to keep up with what we needed to take when and why.

Without further ado, the Mom Take Your Medicine List: (I like to think a copy of this is still floating on the 3rd floor somewhere at High Point Regional.)

Feeling Hot?
Take your temperature. Is it over 100.5? Call George. If you cannot get George, go to the Emergency Room.

Feeling Nauseous?
Have you taken any nausea medicine?

No: Bad Mom. You are supposed to be taking Zofran (Ondansetron HCL) at 8:00 AM and when you go to bed.
Yes: Take Compazine (Proclorperazine) every 4 hours as needed between Zofran (Ondansetron HCL).

Got the Barfs?
Have you taken any nausea medicine?

No: Bad Mom. You are supposed to be taking Zofran (Ondansetron HCL) at 8:00 AM and when you go to bed.
Yes: Take Compazine (Proclorperazine), then when your stomach settles, take your next dose of Zofran (Ondansetron HCL)

If you are still throwing up after 4 hours, take another Compazine (Proclorperazine).
If you are still throwing up after 18 hours, call George.

Got the Poopies?
If you have the poopies, take Imodium by package instructions. If you have 8 poopies or less in a day, double the dose of Imodium. More than 8 poopies in a day, call George.

Got the Owwies?
Make sure your patch is on and does not need changing.
Lick a Percocet (Oxycodone w/APAP 5/325), take ½, 1, or 2 every 4 hours as needed for pain.
If you are still having major Owwies, call George.

Got the Yuck Mouth?
Swish with Magic Mouthwash. Morning/Noon/Dinner/Bedtime - If your throat is feeling sore, swallowing this will help.

Make sure you show George the yuck mouth during your next appointment

Need some Colon Cleansing?
Take Miralax by package instructions.

A Stitch in Time

It has been a very busy day. Between a wonderful Rally day and the start of Alpha, I am ready to go to bed.

If you know me, I am very protective of my personal space. If you get too close and I don't know you or if you give me a weird feeling, I will turn around and run.

I was in the Narthex today in between Sunday School and Church and saw one of the guys in Church that had some places removed a few weeks ago. I think I was still sporting the band aides while he had big white bandages. His bandages are off and so are mine at this point. So I hiked up my shirt to show him my latest stitches. I have a row about 2 inches on my rib cage on my right side from my Wednesday fun.

And then, I just realized, that church is my personal space. How wonderful is it to be in a place where people know you and accept you and love you for yourself.