Over the past few weeks, the ground has gotten more solid around me. I think it is a combination of the medicine and the talking. For the first time in a long time, I am starting to feel like me again. I am not saying that I am still not crying and I don't miss Mom horribly, but it doesn't feel as sharp as over the summer.
I am not the same me as last year. This weekend last year was spent getting ready for Mom to have surgery. Zach was getting ready to sign his Letter of Intent and my only worries were what we were going to eat for Thanksgiving. I normally take the week of Thanksgiving off to get ready for everything that happens in December.
My calendar is getting ready to cross when Mom got sick last year. I go into this Wednesday knowing this day will change my world. I go into this Wednesday never imaging how it will end. I go into this Wednesday with a picture of Mom in my car on the way to the hospital calling Susan to get her "those PJ's at Chico's" so she will match her robe as she lounges around after her surgery. I go into this Wednesday never imaging I would put those PJ's on Mom after she died.
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