At this point in my life, my grief weighs an additional 15 lbs. I had lost about 15 lbs during the last month Mom was at my house. I am expanding to fill the missing space.
I think I am in one of the better funks of my life right now. Personally, I have always enjoyed a good funk every once in a while. There is something to be said for a concentrated time of inner focus and reflection. Random thoughts seem to lead to a different and deeper examination.
For example, I have spent a great deal of time negotiating my relationship with God. (My choice of words, not His.) I think I am maybe past angry, but am willing to make a deal. How funny is that? And like our loving Father God, he listens, seeing past my anger. I can see how grief can isolate you from God. Afraid of showing that you don't understand, why/how could God do this, and trying to figure out what you did to make this happen makes you feel like you are completely alone. But maybe the root of this is when you try to make this a one sided conversation. [It's not like He doesn't already know what is happening. ] God knows I was angry because I told him. He is big enough to handle this. He gets angry at me sometimes. So, God and I will be angry together for a while. How great is that?
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