Running on Empty

I have had a package on my mail trunk for a few days from PCUSA Theology Worship and Education. From my blog, you can tell I am an active Elder at this point, I teach a Sunday School Class (the best class in the entire world), and have been wrestling with both my faith, my call, and the actions of my denomination

So when I am in doubt, I go back to the beginning. I read my Bible, I try to be still and listen to God's purpose in my life. I joined a group called Order of Elders that I found the PCUSA site. Part of the commitment is to read daily, pray daily for our church, and make an active effort to follow the Lectionary reading. We are also reading Psalms over and over this year. Another part of the commitment is to read as a group and discuss a few books that are sent to us during the year.

I finally got around to opening the package this afternoon. The book for this quarter is called "Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers" by Fil Anderson. The book was enclosed with a letter from Rev Stephany Jackson, one of the partners on the staff team.

Just to pull out a few words from his letter. ".. recognize how much more important it is to be the church than it is to do all of the things that need to be done in the church." Plus there were some Jackson Browne lyrics (Do you know this song was a hit in 1978?)

In the mail, I just got the right book at the right time. When I needed a push, it came in a brown package today. When you hear some people talk about how God works in their lives, you hear stories of great action, revelation, and great purpose. I wish I was one of those people who saw the burning bush or heard the voice in the night. I wish I had this loud boisterous faith that seems so steady and all consuming.

But that is not me and mine. It is in the quiet still that I find God, and the subtle pushes and pulls that he places in my life, are as loud to me as anything I can imagine. I am not sure he needs to be loud right now when I feel Him so close.